HEY!
Do you remember me?
I used to have a dream, a path, a way to see it through at least
That's what you sold me, so who do I believe,
when it's business
but the business is dying well
Faster than you could dig your grave,
You made the same mistake that everybody else has made
Never did I need to,
but I still believed you,
when you said that this would be the only way
And I know:
I can be angry, aggravating, I can be so hard on myself
I can be stubborn, I can be selfish, and I'll never ask for help
I'd be lying, if I said I've got my shit all figured out
This is my heavy, this is my everything
HEY!
I've had better days,
but I've gotta face what's been coming my way
Stop blaming everybody else but me
Handle the worst with some positivity
Cuz that's not what this is all about
I need to find a way I can dig myself out
Take back the bones that were buried in doubt,
and write a song just to tell you how it felt
I can be angry, aggravating, I can be so hard on myself
I can be stubborn, I can be selfish, and I never ask for help
I'd be lying, if I said I've got my shit all figured out
This is my heavy
This is my everything now
I can be faithless, so damn jaded, so frustrated, filled with doubt
Stressed and hating how I fucked this up, and I'll never live it down
but I'm honest, constant, faithful and I'll that's where I'll beat you out
I can be angry, aggravating, I can be so hard on myself
I can be stubborn, I can be selfish, and I really need your help
I'd be lying, if I said I've got this shit all figured out
I can be faithless, so damn jaded, so frustrated, filled with doubt
Stressed and hating how I fucked this up, and I'll never live it down
but I'm honest, constant, faithful and that's where I'll beat you out
This is my heavy
This is my everything

Don't let 'em bring you down
I've found a way to break us out of this machine,
trust me, if you want this then be the means
Face yourself, your fear, your doubt
There's no time to waste, because the world won't wait for you

I can be angry, aggravating, I can be so hard on myself
I can be stubborn, I can be selfish, but god I really need your help
I'd be lying, if I said that I could do this by myself
This is my heavy
This is my everything now
I can be faithless, so damn jaded, so frustrated, filled with doubt
Stressed and hating how I fucked this up, and I'll never live it down
but I'm honest, constant, faithful, and I'll never let you down
This is my heavy
This is my everything
"My Heavy" is the first song I've written in about 2 years. The song came about right after HTL found out that we were getting off of Universal. I was SO pissed that they had left us waiting around for absolutely nothing. All that work trying to make these people happy enough to put out a record was for nothing. I was glad we were free agents, but at the same time, I just wanted Universal to fucking BURN. I was angry, and just wanted to make heavy, angry music. I began writing what would become the main riff and the first verse, titling it "Fuck Universal." As HTL began writing new songs for "Invicta," it was put to the side and abandoned. When the opportunity to do a Thief Club record was there, I knew I needed to actually WRITE new songs in order to make a full album. Honestly, I was nervous to write again, and since it had been so long, I didn't know where to start. I thought about what sound I would go for, and knew that I wanted some new songs that were heavy. (Not exactly metal-core or hardcore "heavy," but my own type of heavy.) I decided to title the record "My Heavy," as it would be coming from a place of personal turmoil, loss, joy, and insecurity. After that, I pulled "Fuck Universal" out of my laptop and sat on it. I realized that there's this pop-punk/hardcore trend of making these call out songs where the musician is always pointing out the faults and shortcoming in others. This is something that I was good at doing in my music as well, and after all of the bullshit I've been though, I realized that I had a share in this mess, too. I wanted to write a song that was open and honest with myself. I wanted to call myself out for all of the problems that "other people" have caused me, and how I've dealt with it in my own selfish ways. Not seeing the light, but instead, choosing to take it to a much more negative, antagonistic place. I wanted to start flipping the tables, and stop playing a victim. Keep myself honest and accountable for my life, and not place blame on others when I’m really just mad at myself. "My Heavy" is about how everyone has their own shit, and it's not about who is to blame, but how you handle it. It is about being a strong, honest, confident individual who realizes that there is fault in everyone, and that dwelling on it isn't going to resolve the problem. The first verse relies heavily on blaming someone, which I originally intended to do with the song. By the second verse, it's me having a self-realization that I've had my tantrum, and now it's time to move on. This world doesn't give a shit, nor does it owe me anything. Either rise above or sink into your hole; that's your choice. "My Heavy" is my own call out. It's my "stop feeling bad for yourself and get back up" speech. After I secured all the swear words into the chorus, I went to go see NFG and Cartel when they rolled through Columbus, and brought up the idea to Will about singing a part on the song. I went home and wrote the bridge with his vocals in mind, and I couldn't be more excited to have that dude's glorious pipes on a song that means so much to me. He fucking KILLED it.
Produced by:
ROB FREEMAN
Drums by:
STEVE MILLER
Mastered by:
JESSE CANNON
Guest Vocals:
WILL PUGH
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